Loss that dissolved the ordinary self along with what was lost
The death of someone loved, a parent, child, partner, or close friend, appears as a trigger in roughly one in ten accounts. Grief seems to dissolve the ordinary sense of self alongside what was lost, sometimes opening into something beyond the loss itself.
These accounts often describe awakening not as comfort or resolution of grief but as something that arrived through it: a dissolution of the one who was grieving that revealed what was underneath.
When I was, in 2006 my wife died, my late wife, and in 2007 I traveled the world on my own, and there was a very emotional time for me.
When we stay stuck in our grief and loss, and we refuse to move on, don't want to move on really hold that down.
And as 2004 was a tough year because my father died suddenly, and I was also making television movies about unsolved murders and so everything that could go wrong went wrong that year.
So if the feeling is desperation or helpless or grief or loss or whatever it is, it's to sort of first find that feeling.