Complete surrender to God, not petition but dissolution
Intense prayer, surrender to God, or devotional practice appears in roughly one in ten accounts, particularly in theistic and Christian contexts. The common thread isn't ordinary prayer but complete surrender, not petition but dissolution.
Several accounts describe crying out at the end of their rope, a total giving up, and something responding. Whether framed as God, grace, or simply an opening, what arrived was consistently described as more than what was asked for.
I was in the fetal position sitting on the floor crying hysterically praying to a god I didn't believe in please help me — and at that point there was a surrender and at that point there was an opening.
I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father." This is a beautiful, beautiful phrase - the next: "God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten not made, one in being with the Father.
But today I would say that...I mean, my insight about Jesus now is that, all the things that the Christian religion has said about Jesus - if you look at just a simple creed, for example, it says, "I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty.
When I was in Lenox Hill Hospital and they really thought I was going to die, I really turned to the Lady of Light in a tenacious way of praying to her... I offered a prayer that if there is any way for their grace to carry me through, I really would dedicate my life to the Divine.