The shift coming and going, stabilizing slowly — or not at all
The shift is not always permanent or stable. Many accounts describe weeks, months, or years of moving between ordinary experience and something else — the opened state coming and going, stabilizing slowly over time, or cycling in waves that could last for years.
These accounts are valuable precisely because they resist the common framing of awakening as a permanent, once-and-for-all event. For many people, the process is more like a tide than a light switch.
Right now, if I were to describe my experience to me, I would see pure consciousness and I see all these sheets and waves and points of light, they're fluctuating and they're crossing each other, there's points where they cross, they spiral out.
Sometimes I call it the harmonizing force, and it's a little controversial nowadays to use the pyramid, but in duality in the mind, you know, you've got the base and the polarized forces, active-passive, moving back and forth, yin and yang.
And so I was oscillating between the the waves of terror and, you know, feeling like I'm going to be sucked into this black void any minute and die.
There's this field of fluctuating sheets and waves and points and twirling ricks of light.
Experience types that appear most often alongside this.
Other integration challenges that co-occur most frequently in the same accounts.